A LOT has transpired the past few days, not all of it my loyal readers will understand or like to hear. Since I am still not quite sure of details and frankly am not ready to divulge yet, I will spill the beans at a later date.
Kyle has been relentlessly persistent. I have yet to hear from him today, which is a good thing and a first for the week. He has asked me out twice this week already; first request was Sunday, then yesterday. Sunday was dinner this week, I didn't respond to the text. I didn't know what to say and then forgot. It's not easy to let someone down, I don't want to offend him. He's a nice guy, just not for me. Why settle! Yesterday was about going to an auto show. Not really my thing, so I said so. He said, "still tryin to get a second date out of you." I did not respond. Honestly, if you want a date call me so I can reject you over the phone rather than by cold, impersonal texts. And try asking me out not through impersonal texts. Technology ruined dating. In this case, I am not trying to "play hard to get," I am just not interested in dating. He has no long term potential. He spells things wrong, a lot.
Not sure if I mentioned this one ever, the "Young One;" he's actually six months older than me but this is young for someone I'd consider seeing/dating/talking to. Met him on the train to one of my St. Patty's parades. He's a state trooper. He's been texting and what not about getting together but he has weird work hours and days off. He's VERY attractive, well more attractive than the average Joe Shmo anyway. He texted Monday about doing something Wednesday/Thursday. Not sure why, but I told him no...well actually I told him I was sick, and at the time I wasn't feeling well, but it was a little bit of a stretch. He didn't respond anyway. I have a gut feeling he's not worth the effort so I'm gonna go with that. Oh well. Gotta go with the gut!
I've rounded out my Argov Education with the completion of "WHY MEN MARRY BITCHES." Way more beneficial than WMLB, at least for me. I'm pretty good at playing it cool when I first start dating someone, so this makes sense. I run into problems when feelings surface- maybe this is why I received the nickname having to do with ICE by a guy that tried to date me right after college. It makes sense that things normally go sour right around the same time in each of the few semi-legitimate relationships I've had: 3 months in when I get scared because I actually have feelings for someone and realize I could potentially have my heart trampled. Not sure why I have a crippling fear of rejection and someone walking away. With Josh it was different because I trusted him unlike the others, and he treated me like 20 times better. I still changed my own behavior though, and became doormat-like. I give too much power and focus on them instead of myself because I let myself believe they are the root of my happiness and I need to focus entirely on them because if I don't they will leave and I will get hurt. Who thinks like this? It's not conscious, and I'm glad I recognized the pattern at this point. Because really, who can respect a doormat? Who wants to be with someone they can't respect? I should have more respect for myself. I have a lot going for me and I reduce my self worth for no reason. Obviously reading this book has made me face the facts of my own shortcomings, and the fog is clearing surrounding certain situations. More on that later.
Moral of the story is that you need to read WHY MEN MARRY BITCHES, regardless of your marital status or if you even want to get married. It's not about getting some guy to propose, it's about being a strong person. Instead of "Attraction Principles" this book covers "Relationship Principles." It's like being invited into the mind of a man. I learned things that make sense, like how guys will push your buttons to size you up by how you respond, but that I never realized went on. It makes sense but actually reading it is different. I really cannot say enough about this book. I've read it and then reread parts of it and then read parts of it to my mother, who could also benefit from reading it unfortunately! I'll highlight my favs later, so stay tuned :)
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