Success is the greatest revenge, not that I care

It's been about a week. I've gone through the necessary steps, not sure in the right order but definitely the order that works for me: sadness, what I thought was clarity that led (or misled) me to feel content and like "everything will work out like it should" which is obviously BS, to confusion, to the final step of being angry. Being angry works for me. When you're angry and you curse someone, they no longer have the power to hurt you. "Whoever cares less in the relationship has the power." Power is back.

I must've been smoking crack in my sleep to believe that he wasn't breaking up with me because he didn't like me, he was breaking up with me because he has too many issues like his drinking problem. If he liked me, he would've wanted me around regardless. Saying that BS just made it easier for him to feel like less of a dick. I wanted so much to believe he wasn't a dick and like my feelings weren't built on his charming lies, but they were. I told my mom sometimes I feel like he's full of it, and she actually said, "his family thinks he is. they think he's just a player." OUCH! hahaha. (Don't let your parents set you up, especially when they know this. Thanks 'rents.)

So my week of moping is about up. I have four days of work this week, my last day is Thursday, and I leave for Florida that night. THANK GOD. I just need to get through FOUR DAYS. While the stress of breaking up and getting back together and that emotional rollercoaster of the last two months has caused me to gain weight, I will enjoy my bikini anyway. When I get back I will shortly start my new job. Where I will meet LOTS of guys who will want nothing other than to date me. I will be busy having a career and I'm not sure I'll have time for them anyway.

And I will never think about J EVER AGAIN. Because today I'm angry and I dont give a damn what kind of problems he has, his chances are up.