I like it when it rains

No-contact day 2. It's rainy and miserable out. I like it. It makes me feel like it's okay that I'm not bursting with sunshine. I'm okay though. I feel it getting easier already, especially when I tell myself I really still don't know who he is so I'm not sure what I even lost, if anything. I like to believe I know, but after getting back together only to be told he can't do it  like, a whole 2 weeks later, I just don't know. Don't you have consideration for other people's feelings? I guess this is normal though. All things end. They've just never ended for me before in this way.

2.5 days left of work. My replacement was in today - she was quiet but I guess that's expected. I wanted to fill her in on the real deal but I don't think you really understand until you experience it on your own. Not that working there was horrible, it was just boring and there are a LOT of very...unique personalities to deal with and you don't get much respect. I think it's like that everything though. Too bad we weren't there at the same time because she might've been decent to hang out with, I think she's about my age. I'm about finished up on most of my dreaded projects and now I get to hand everything off to her... feels kind've weird. I'm happy but I've never been that great with change. Feels weird I won't be there next week. I'll probably never talk to any of them again.

I know this is horrendous but I was approved for a credit card with a limit high enough that I don't have to worry about starving. It's a back up for emergencies. Knowing I have it makes me feel better. I'm going to try really hard not to use it for something as frivolous as hiring a personal trainer to make me feel good about myself again....

Time for the gym to force myself out of my house so I don't stand in front of the fridge eating half a carton of Banana Split ice cream, again. I'd be a lot more excited about Florida if I actually fit into my clothes.