Your love is my drug, is my love your drug? No? Adios.

This quote goes against my feelings about the importance of having the upper hand, but it is worth a mention:"Someone once told me that the power in all relationships lies with whoever cares less, and he was right. But power isn't happiness, and I think that maybe happiness comes from caring more about people rather than less... " - Conner Mead, Ghosts of Girlfriends Past

I only caught the end of that movie last night, but obviously it was made for me. I'm a believer of the The Secret/Law of Attractive- and I think the fact that movie was on and I just happened to catch the end was a sick joke from Earth's energy. It was saying- Move on from the bad boy! He will break your heart! I am not Jennifer Garner, I cannot wait 10 years for him to straighten out! Dad was right when he said I love the assholes. I'm masochistic. No actually, as much as I hate Josh, I do have to credit him for making me break down the wall. At least now I know that love is somewhat possible, and that's a liberating feeling in a way.

Then my messed up mind starts to rationalize- Hey you're not together, he's not doing anything wrong. Maybe you need to focus on yourself and not him. Isn't that what Argov told you to do in WMLB? Maybe you need to get a grip.

Ummm maybe. I wish I could blame PMS, but it's not even near that time of the month. I need to stop worrying about Josh and start worrying about myself and how awesome I am.

Reasons I am awesome:

1. I'm freaking hysterical. I crack myself up. I can crack you up.

2. Spontaneous is my middle name.

3. When I'm not rambling, I consider myself a decent writer- as does my profession.

4. Although I make pennies, my job isn't THAT horrendous. My boss and I get along well. It's close to home and a mall for lunchtime shopping. At least I have a job-- I lasted through the Great Recession layoffs!

5. I'm generous and thoughtful. (TOO NICE- damn, can I not count this as a pro?)

6. I'm not a 10 but I'm pretty damn cute. My smile is killer.

7. Driving skills are top notch.

8. Cooking skills also nothing to laugh at.

9. I have killer back muscles.

10. The list could go on but I'm feeling much better already.. I think.

I need to let go, build my confidence back up, and get on with my life. There's no use dwelling about things I can't change. It sucks, my heart is broken, but who cares and who's going to fix it? No one but me. I've also decided to not put anything on Facebook- just so no one can stalk me and find out what I'm up to. :)