Do the NICE always finish last?

Welllllllllll I was talked into texting Josh (names have been changed to protect identities- mostly mine, not so much theirs) this afternoon by my girlfriend who is in a similar situation, and you know misery loves company. Responses were enthused at first, and tapered off. No, "I'd like to see you tonight." Whatever. I know he had to stay late at work, again. Part of the reason things were complicated in the first place were stressors like work issues, although I don't know if that's a solid excuse when you really care about someone....BUT it seemed like WMLB stressed not to rush and that periods of absence are not necessarily a bad thing. I need to learn that. I think absence automatically equals disinterest because I'm narcissistic and think I should be the center of their world....hence why I am writing this blog and hopefully learning/maturing. Oh well. I am friendly with his BFF's on-again off-again currently off girlfriend, who said they are heading to a late St. Patricks Day parade overnight tomorrow. I don't care about that, the BFF is what I consider not a strong wingman, even though Josh can do fine on his own... I don't think that's what he's going for. From this point forward I am taking the advice of WMLB and not contacting him. I made the first move today, I'm done. Evan also says to follow the lead of men and let them make all the first moves- which hurts every feminist bone in my body but he seems to know his stuff.

Then there's Kyle. I've known Kyle since, I guess last summer, from the gym. A trainer introduced us. At the time I was still on and off with my ex, and was also seeing another trainer from the gym casually, so nothing really came of it. This meathead was for some reason CRAZY about me and would text me 20 times a day and it was just SUCH a turn off despite his 12 pack abs. (NICE FINISH LAST?) Anyway, so Kyle and I remained cool and I run into him occasionally while out and at the gym. On the way to a certain parade a few weeks ago, run into him on the train. We hang out until we reach our destination then go separate ways. Later in the day randomly run into him and his friends again, and this time my girls and I head to a club with them. We all have a massively good time and we end up dancing and making out all over the place for a few hours. Unfortunately I make out with everyone while partying, but I think it's a lot better than sleeping with them?! I can't tell if Kyle is my type, or if it was just fun. So we've talked a few times since then, and he's invited me to the Devils Rangers game next week since I've never been to an NHL game and he has season tickets. Ran into him at the gym last night, he got on the machine next to me and we did 20 minutes of cardio together, bullshitted. He mentioned that he hasn't really dated anyone in a long time, like two years, but he likes to have fun and go out... He seems to have his shit together, he has a real job although he still lives home and I think he's around 27. This evening I get a text from him that he has to work tomorrow morning so isn't doing anything tonight but would like to see me at some point this weekend. I asked what he had in mind and said I was planning on going to the city or something fun with my partner in crime. He says we should go with him and his friends to this club where we both know the bartendar and there's good music, so I said cool. I'm actually really looking forward to it, we all had a blast when we were at that club in the past. One issue: I kind've have a sinking feeling that I just don't/won't have feelings for him like that. AND because I don't know if I'm that into him, I'm able to give off the "Dream Girl/Bitch" vibe, which of course is drawing him in. He's also not trying super hard, which I sort've like too... although Josh put in a GOOD amount of effort when we first met, and I loved it, which I normally don't. Was this because I had better chemistry with him? We all know chemistry doesn't build a great relationship though-- This is also mentioned in "Marry Him: The case for settling for Mr. Good Enough" by Lori Gottlieb. That book kind've scared me. Am I too picky? Certainly I don't want to end up a 37 yr old single mom who only attracts guys in their 50s, but that's a topic for another day.

So, I'm not sure what to think. If Josh isn't going to put in the effort I want, maybe I should just move on despite my feelings for him when he is around, because this seems like it will inevitably lead to heartbreak unless his behavior changes. And do I force it with Kyle? I'll see how tomorrow goes. i was half expecting a booty call from Josh tonight, which I would've turned down in a bitch-like manner. Damn.