Gettin my SwAgGeR back

I made a massive mistake yesterday. Actually, 2:15am Monday - Tuesday night. I went out with this guy, we're going to call him Unlovable (he actually told me that he got the vibe from me that I was "cold," "unlovable," and after I told him that was slightly offensive he said, "okay, not open to embracing love") who I've known for years and years and years but hadn't seen for a while. He knows Josh from back in the day, and knows my deal with him. Unlovable has a girlfriend he obviously has little regard for. I thought we were going out for a couple beers as friends, yet he ends up professing he'd dump his girlfriend for me, he thinks we have a real connection, there's something about me he loves. He actually used the L word. I think I'm just a good friend to him being we speak on a semi-daily basis, including while he was in Iraq. I'm also someone he "can't have," therefore of course he loves me. It's easy to apply the WMLB principles when you don't actually like the guy.

So we start shooting the shit, talking about people we know and haven't seen. Family members of Josh are brought up, which leads to the question, "When was the last time you saw him? What's going on with that?" So I told him the deal, and he laughs. He tells me, I'm sorry but he's playing the games all guys who can get girls play. You make them fall for you, then it's over. UMMMMM WHAT? So then I think about it, and think hey maybe he's right. Then I drink three more vodka clubs. Then I think he's really right. And I'm mad at myself for being stupid. I don't take into account, hey maybe this guy is just trying to get in your pants and he likes you so he's trying to make Josh look bad. I don't think, he hasn't known Josh since high school, 10 years ago. 2:15am I text Josh that I want the stuff I left at his apartment. 6:30am he texts me what are you talking about, I was in bed sick. Um which lead to a series of texts that basically said "I like you too much to do this" and he's like, you're nuts. I did kind've act nuts. Why can't I just relax and not put all my cards on the table? I went against WMLB principles, and clearly look insane. I'm going to ignore the situation. We had fun, but if he doesn't want to have fun there's nothing I can do. I reread stuff from him early today, and I'm not nuts for being confused. But guys don't respond to words, they respond to distance, so that's what I must do. You can't hold on to someone who doesn't want to be held. Didn't stop me from eating an entire bag of Family-Sized chips last night though.

Over the weekend I got a text from this guy from college I ran into a couple weeks ago, we can call him Reggie. (I entertain myself with these creative names.) It was out of the blue and he asked me what I was doing that night but I already had plans with Kyle. Reggie was hott in college, not so hott now (like everyone else, he thought it was okay to gain 30 pounds). Also, I did not give him my phone number, he got it off Facebook and since then I have removed the number. I called him out on this, asking how he got my number, and he said, "don't you remember giving it to me?" Uh, no. Anyway he wants to "hang out." He was kind've boring when I ran into him, but he did commend me on my 5k pictures he stalked last summer, so I would go out with him.

This leads me to a new venture: SERIOUSLY applying the WMLB principles through the course of dating someone. This was really why I started this blog, which has turned into a Josh-depression fest somehow. That needs to change. I'm considering joining like match.com for practice as well. I think if I get good enough at it, maybe I won't completely sabotage the next Josh that comes my way. I think match.com would be good because those guys are more likely to behave in a manner more similar to traditional dating- not all this texting bs...at least I hope. I'm SO TIRED of texting. Technology ruined dating. Making men fall in love with me will probably raise my decreased self esteem, be somewhat fun when I'm not thinking about how much dating sucks, I'll get some free dinners/drinks, and will take my mind off J0sh (I hope).