Busy busy :)

Work has been great! It's super busy and I have so much to learn, and the commute sucks, but I really like it. It's nice being around people my own age. It's very social... going out with clients and such. Went to a big party this week, like legit big party...  I've never seen "colleagues" of any type party like that. My boss gave me his Am Ex to take a cab all the way back to Jersey so I didn't have to risk public transportation which was super sweet.

And I have a confession and this is so horrible and I never wanted to be that girl, but I sort've made out with the guy who's training me. He's not technically my boss, but he's in my group, which is bad news. He also LIVES WITH HIS GIRLFRIEND. I guess it started when I had a problem getting in and so I called him and he came to my rescue within seriously 1 minute tops. Then he got me a drink. Then we started talking more - but that's normal since I know him the best at work, and we hung out at the event last week too. And then he started getting a little TOO CLOSE and just happened to brush my ass. Then we started dancing. Then...ya know haha no JK. He walked me out to get a cab is what I think happened. (Whoops shots of Patron!) It was awesome though.  During/after the making out, he kept saying "oh no this is so wrong, we can't do this, we work together." I was like bro what about your gf at home? I dont care, I'm not the one in a relationship. From what I can tell, LOTS of people at work hook up. I guess we shouldn't since we work SO CLOSELY but whatever I'm not gonna freak out about it. There was serious sexual tension, at least on my part, but I guess the feeling had been mutual. He's freaking sexy. Let's call him Boss Man although he's not my boss. He's pretty good looking, and the fact he's smart is super hott. So the next day he kind've says "uh I was a little out of hand last night" and I just played it off. Then he gave me that smile. Fuck. haha It hasn't really been THAT awkward. I'm just acting like it didn't happen. It was also not at the party, so no one else knows anyway. It's probably bad I look forward to going to work because of him, but whatever, I need some excitement in my life. Um kind've weird but he also friended me on Facebook the next day, so then I got to check out the pics of him and his hott (and I'm not just sayin that) girlfriend. Tis my life, obviously.

During all this I've been distracted from J, well, at least while at work. I should actually say lack of J, since I haven't heard from him in weeks, since I last mentioned - when I passed him driving about two weeks ago and he completely ignored me and my monumental life change the past while. Fuck him. I'm not gonna lie and say I don't think about him, because I still do everyday. Sometimes I miss him. I'm really hurt by how things ended and feel really betrayed and stupid, but I'm letting it go. I read a really good book about the 5 "givens" of life- everything ends, people suck sometimes, etc - and basically it said sometimes life does suck and instead of denying your shitty feelings, it's better to embrace them and face them head on and know you're becoming a better person because of them, and in the end you'll be stronger and feel better. Kind of finding inner peace in knowing everything eventually works out. It helped me get over a lot of anger and sadness. I've been keeping busy too...

OH! When I was out this weekend, I was having dinner with my girlfriend at a bar/restaurant where J and I sometimes went, but I've gone there lots of times before. My gf and I know the bartender through our exes. The bartender sees us and comes over and says hi! and that there's people we know on the patio. My girlfriend catches a name, and she's like, wait, did she just say J's slut!? I don't know why she thought we knew her, but obviously she didn't know the story of her and J. So my gf goes outside to "have a cigarette" and BAM IT'S J'S SLUT! Wow my dreams came true. I wasn't gonna go out there and cause a scene, the girl def knows who I am, so we knew eventually the group would have to walk through the restaurant to leave. And she did. And she's not that pretty. She has back fat. I stared her down. She didn't see me. IT. WAS. AWESOME. Then my gf and I did some investigating and talked to a bar fly and found out that indeed, J and her did talk for "two weeks, until slut scared her off." No lie, those were the words bar fly used, and he did not know the situation of who I was. Amazing. Then I got sad, so I went home and went to bed. Deleting J from my phone was THE BEST THING I'VE EVER DONE. All his Facebook statuses are now about how happy he is and how great his life is. What a joke. I thought about deleting him but I'm too much of a stalker. I'm slowly not caring. I have too many other things to worry about.

That being said, it's been quite a while since I've been on a date. Like months, not counting the brief re-kindling with J. This weekend I plan to meet someone who 1. I dont work with 2. Is not an ex, and hit it off and plan a date!